if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
