I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
