That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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