its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
