Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
