Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
