i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
