i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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