Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
