I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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