idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
