so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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