i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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