he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
