Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
