Whoa Z and x make the same sound
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
