Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Never let your siblings swipe right.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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