he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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