the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
