Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
