I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
