The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
