If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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