Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
