I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
