great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
