not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
