A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm sobbing to NWA
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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