i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
