Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
