I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
