This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
