I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
