you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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