I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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