well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
