To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
