oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
