I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
