Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
