stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
