I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
