So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
