I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
