I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
