O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
