Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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