wat bout pragnant strippers??
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
