I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
