The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Randomize
